Date / Time: Wednesday afternoon, April 27th, 2011
Location: Starkville, Mississippi
Number of participants: 2
You might have seen it on the news. Tornadoes ripped through east Mississippi and west Alabama, leaving 300,000 powerless for days. No electricity? What do you do when there is no electricity? Break out the waterguns of course!
Louis went straight for my new Ultimate Explorer. The CPS 1500 hanging in my closet was tempting me. Over100 oz of pure aquatic devastation. How could I resist? But then again, I’ve never been one to deny a fair fight. Playing with the odds in your favor takes all the glory out of winning. Instead I grabbed my trusty SC 600 and went to fill up.
I was on the lookout as I exited the apartment. There were plenty of places Louis could be lurking – bushes, power boxes, cars in the parking lot, maintenance buildings… I walked through a covered passageway on the 1st floor of the apartment complex and out into the common green. My nemesis was standing dead center in the green, halfway between the two apartment buildings. Time to fight.
I let him make the first move. Louis charged towards me, firing with a sustained mid sized blast. He had already placed himself at the disadvantage of having to fight uphill, and the wind was still rather violent. I backpeddled, going to my left, the direction the wind was from. Although his gun had a lot of power, it couldn’t deny the forces of nature. All I needed was a second. His power had faded. I rushed forward to the edge of the little hill, burst firing my 600 like I was welding an M240 Bravo. I’ve always been a burst firer, ever since the Vermin Wars taught me that war cannot be won without equal parts aggression and caution. Attack with full power, but conserve ammo.
My 600 didn’t have the initial power of his Explorer, but I did have the wind at my back, a 5 foot advantage in elevation, and CPS technology to keep me firing at full strength. My shots were well aimed – center torso. Louis attempted to run backwards, but couldn’t get back to the building behind him quick enough. I estimate that I unleashed a good 10-12 oz on him in my initial volley.
I disengaged, using the break in the action as an opportunity to recharge my firing chamber to its full capacity. I noticed him eying the area to my left. The hill, which was more like a landscaping bank or burm, gently sloped down to a flat gradient, and there was a big willow tree that he could use for cover. It made perfect sense. Use the willow tree’s drooping branches as cover, and move around the left to flank the hill. At least that’s what I would have done. Louis sprinted headlong towards the Willow, before I could come up with a counter strategy; but instead of going around it to my left and coming up the hill behind me he kept on straight for the tree. I maneuvered to my left, ducking to try to get some shots off that would pass low enough to get under the branches to hit my target. My shots never made it through the branches. Louis’ powerful 3x blast was partially deflected by the branch nearest my left ear, but a good portion of it hit me in a sweeping motion across the top left side of my head. I fired another volley of burst shots into the tangled branches. This time some of them found their mark. Louis advanced to the base of the tree, firing a prolonged stream that caught me across the shoulder. Stalemate! Nothing was going to be won fighting among these dense branches.
I backed away from the tree, moving left, attempting to simultaneously block his ability to flank me, and get some shots off behind him. It worked. Just then a huge gust of wind came up and knocked down my shots, so I fired a solid stream more towards the gust. The wind blew it right down on Louis, just as it deflected his shots against me. He moved around to my right, trying to rush up the hill before I could get there. I ran along the apartment sidewalk and bore down on him with repeated bursts, the wind shifting favorably more towards my back. I took minimal damage from his assault, as most of his shots failed to reach me, except one that drenched my right sock.
By this time I was running low on ammo. I kept my shots to small bursts and continued using the terrain to my advantage. I noticed the sound of air being pumped into his firing chamber. “He’s running out of water! What now? How are you going to defend yourself!” I broke out into an evil laugh, taunting him. Little did he know that I had been low on water for the past 2 minutes. I charged straight down the field, using the terrain and my recent psychological attack to my advantage. He fired straight at me, catching me square in the chest, “pstbbbbbbhhhhh” but then a cloud of mist erupted from his gun. I could see the fear wash over his face as his Explorer sputtered air. I bore down on him with continuous bursts as he desperately pumped, trying to make it back to the apartment behind him. It was to no avail. He turned around to fire, but I ducked low and swung my 600 up in an arc, unleashing the contents of my firing chamber onto my enemy.